#so scary. such terrifying thing to happen.

[waiting-foratrain]

> do you ever think about how scary remembering being alecto must have been for nona? because i think about that a lot.

(NONA THE NINTH SPOILERS) (this is mostly a post inspired by my personal experience and feelings so feel free to disagree. but also i Am correct)

dissociative amnesia is terrifying. just. full stop, point blank- as a concept, to experience, however- its terrifying. the idea that there’s something missing and half the time you don’t even know it’s gone? and then to remember? to slowly start remembering every horrible thing that happened to you? to be nona, remembering, and suddenly realise that you’re doing what everyone around you seems to have wanted you to do since you first opened your eyes, you’re remembering- only it isn’t helping, and instead, you’re realising that everything you thought you were was built on a fault line that only seems to keep growing with everything more you remember?

and then it’s nona, the girl who’s anger has only ever been treated gently and peacefully by the people who love her, who is determined to be good, to be helpful, suddenly having to remember so much unrestrained anger, so much pain? and the more she remembers, the more she becomes sure that all of that is what she is going to be left as when her time, and her life is up. of course that scared her. how could it not scare her?

i don’t think it was just the realisation of who she had been that was terrifying - it was the understanding that she was a makeshift person walking around in a world where (nearly) everyone else got to be wholly themselves for as long as their bodies lived- but she’d been on borrowed time her whole life, and suddenly she has a rapidly running out countdown.

further - dissociative amnesia isn’t just about the loss, it’s about the shape of the loss. it’s about the gaps in the narrative of your own life, gaps you can’t see because your mind has plastered over them, smoothed them out so seamlessly that you don’t even think to ask what’s missing. It’s about waking up one day and realising the foundation you’ve been standing on isn’t real, and worse, that the truth waiting underneath it might be so much worse than the not-knowing… and when those memories do start to surface, you don’t quite know what it is, but it feels like a betrayal- and you aren’t quite the same as you were before anymore (which happens on such a bigger scale with nona!!!! it’s so important to me, that in ntn, nona’s remembering is not celebrated. so often in media, i see people remembering memories lost to trauma related amnesia portrayed as a good thing, and every time i’m just sat there thinking ‘is it worth it? really?’)

like. just imagine you’re nona, for me. your mind kept those lost memories from you for a reason- it buried them because it thought you wouldn’t survive them, and maybe you won’t, but now, whether you’re ready or not, they’re coming back. they’re clawing their way up from a grave you didn’t even know was there, and you have to look them in the eye and reconcile the person they tell you you were with the person you fought to be.

for nona, remembering meant losing herself. she didn’t just gain alecto’s memories, she became alecto again. the life she had built, the life she had clung to, the love she had felt, all of it just unraveled beneath the weight of who she had been before. how could it not be terrifying?

to remember. to finally give in and remember what she’d been so determined to not, to finally know what you were missing - and have to realise that your fears weren’t unfounded. it is scary - because remembering doesn’t make you whole. sometimes, remembering just erases you instead.

[missysverse]

I believe in shifting but sometimes I lowk get scared to actually do it😭like wdym I can shift WHOLE REALITIES!! I feel like it's sort of hindering my progress idk...

THE INFAMOUS FEAR OF SHIFTING HAS STRIKED ONCE AGAIN...

HI anon! Your feelings are completely valid and it is a normal reaction to feel this fear after discovering shifting. I mean think about it, one day you stumbled across this community of people who talk about shifting to fictional or completely different realities. It sounds absolutely insane and mind-boggling at first, like straight out of a sci-fi film. The average person is going to think 'wow these people have really lost the plot' and will immediately reject the idea of reality shifting, chuckle at it, and then move on with their day (a bunch of wimps really).

But you, dear anon. You chose to believe it. You gave it a chance, and it all happened for a reason. Because shifting is your birthright. You choosing to get involved with this community, with shifting, giving it a true go, immediately makes you 1000x braver than the normal person. Hence, you need to realise that the courage has already been within you, we just need to alleviate this fear so that you feel more comfortable and don't view shifting as a 'scary' thing.

I want to make clear that feeling negative emotions towards shifting cannot 'hinder' your shifting journey. Many people have shifted while feeling scared or sad or whatever. Fear is only an obstacle if you make it one. The moment you stop seeing fear as a wall and start seeing it as nothing more than a passing thought, you’ll realize you were free to shift all along.

If you have a fear of actually getting to your DR and actually experiencing stuff your "DR self" would (btw your DR self is you, I hate using this term but I'm just using it to help you understand), please realise that your "DR self" has experienced the events, is completely used to their life, when you shift it will feel 100% normal. Yes it may take you time at the start to fully adjust, but everything will feel very natural, no matter what you script, because you have lived that life. It will just be a regular day for you.

If being in a completely different reality still sounds a bit terrifying to you, nothing is stopping you from trying to shift to a parallel reality, for instance, a reality where everything is the same but you have a different colour hair. Or go to a waiting room, which will help you mentally prepare before going to your DR.

You have all the time in the world to let this sink in. There’s no rush. Nope, none at all. The moment you’re ready, the moment it truly clicks that this is possible, everything will feel so much easier. I promise. Take it at your own pace, step by step, if that’s what you need. Shifting isn’t running away from you. It is always here.

I hope this helped, feel free to ask more if you are still unsure :)

[gothicloverdream]

"I think their relationship is incredibly insular and it's quite terrifying to see two people who have no connection or awareness to the outward effect of their actions. So even when they themselves are maybe as vulnerable and needy as anyone else is, it still... I think what's really scary in this movie is power. It's how power is built. How broken it all is, and so I think that was something that felt like a key to the relationship."

"There's two duos. It's him and his brother, and him and his monkey. I mean, I don't think we're built in the individual. I mean, I believe in certain bits of individuality for everyone, but I also think so much of storytelling is seeing the way that other people change you and how you exist in relation and the context of others. So the way in which like his brother is... His brother's broken in a million ways, and then I think Caracalla breaks himself in these complementary ways. They move to extremes because they're always surveilling the other one."

Q: Do you think like what ultimately happens between the two brothers, do you think that that's something that Caracalla would have done, or do you think that that is Macrinus was just pushing the right buttons at the right moments? You obviously feel that resentment between the two of them in that climactic moment, but I don't know. I felt like because he was so lonely, like he would never neccesarily go through with that unless he has someone else holding the knife, per say.

"Fascinating. Yeah, there's that thing, right? That like things can be inevitable and spontaneous at the same time. Great tragedy can work like that sometimes."

Fred Hechinger on Emperor Caracalla & Emperor Geta: AwardsWatch

[drowzyscatterbrain]

I have many fears.

but currently, one of my greatest fears is having the most wonderful and sweet dreams of being lovey dovey with sans...

and forgetting it upon waking up.

[dawnthefluffyduck]

Crazy issues that come up when a character is written a little too well

[mod2amaryllis]

real talk I never wanted kids before and now I kinda want maybe one but I'm. the gross stuff sounds so scareyyy. how do you deal w the loss of control over your body?? Not even saying I have any kind of control right now, I'm not even a fitness girl or anything, body's a body, but do you know what I mean? I'm scared if I get pregnant it will freak me out so bad

well what you said is actually the answer: when do we ever have control lol?

in preparing to have a kid i got decently in shape, ate very well and exercised consistently for several months, and knowing i was doing it with the intention of getting pregnant felt good. like building a mighty forge. then pregnancy hits and.. yeah that physical "control" does go out the window....lmao

the thing that can be freaky is just the SPEED at which your body changes. you can almost watch it in real time, i look and feel totally different week to week. initially this unnerved me cuz it's like,, ok if this were any other situation, these changes would not be normal. but they are normal. so the word that i keep circulating when the changes freak me out is "evidence." it's all just evidence that there's a little dude in there, and that's a good thing.

and it being a good thing is what it boils down to for me. I'm only having an ok time because 1) i am, compared to so many others, having a smooth pregnancy. that's never a guarantee. and 2) I'm confident this baby is coming into a healthy environment where she is extremely wanted. the determination of "i want this kid" makes the physical weirdness bearable.

[sinkjustlikeastone]

I’m taking the singular like on my prev post as a ye! So enjoy. And cry please

Tw for swearing, sort of talk of suicide but not really, and talk of sodas rodeo accident which I have dramaticified for the purpose of I wanted to. Read the tags.

…

Sitting in the truck on the way home, Ponyboy asks: “You’re real sad, ain’t you, Soda?”

And Soda, he smiles a broken smile and nods a little.

“Why’d I have to get hurt? Darry, why can’t I just ride?” His face slips from its half-smile.

“Life just happens sometimes.” Darry replies. And he should know.

“It’s what I dream ‘bout.” Soda says in an almost-whisper. “Every night, I dream about gettin’ hurt.”

“Thanks for tellin’ us.” Darry says.

“I usually wake up when that fucking horse steps on me. Then when I wake up my leg hurts. Or. Where it used to be. Feels like it’s there.” Soda’s crying so hard his head hurts now. “Stupid fucking leg.”

Darry thinks twice about correcting Soda for swearing. He supposes the situation calls for it.

“You need to find something you like doing.” Pony says. Darry his shoulder and shushes him.

“Nothing’ll ever feel as good.” Soda says.

“I don’t understand.” Pony insists. Darry tries to quiet him, but Soda tells him it’s fine. “I don’t get it why you get to be so sad. It’s been two years and everything. It’s not like you don’t have another choice for the rest of your life. All you’ve got to do is find somethin’ else.”

“Well, damn, Pony. If that’s how things work you oughtta get on with findin’ a new Johnny. I hear there’s a soc boy named Jack movin’ in. That’s close enough to Johnny, ain’t it-“

“Shut up!” Pony yells, hands over his ears.

“Soda!” Darry scolds at the same time.

“What?” He asks. “I’m only telling him the same he’s telling me-“

“It’s different and you know it. His best friend died.”

“I wish I would have!” Soda screams.

Darry slams on the breaks in the middle of the road.

“You say that again-“

“I wish I would have died.” Soda deadpans, staring Darry in the eyes.

“I’m not gonna stop your partners from comin’ over. Already told them it’s alright. But you ain’t going anywhere but work until further notice, cause I don’t think I can trust you out.”

“I ain’t gonna kill myself-“

“Until you find something else to try, you ain’t leavin’ the house aside from work. And after tonight you ain’t seeing Chet or Cherry until then either.”

“Dar-“

“Pony ain’t gonna talk for a week over this. Least you can do is take his damn advice, you hear?”

“Sorry, Darry.” Soda mumbles, tears threatening to break yet again.

[hunysckle]

why is everything so scary.

[thorninyourpaw]

my existence makes me feel awful for my family

[jackass-jones]

Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩

[galindatopland]

really really need to get back on mood stabilizers

[orcelito]

My druid has "fuckboy" written all over her

[natjennie]

number one horror game experience is running for your life in fear and then getting somewhere and going "okay, I'm safe here" and then a monster steps into view instantly.

[wittyworm]

if you dont believe in spirituality and clairvoyance and all that just skippp

so i know it sounds crazy, but i already told my therapist, so idc anymore but does anyone know ANYTHING about mediums. or anyone to contact to help me figure this out. ive been going through a lot the past year but the one i couldnt talk about that was bothering me the most was that i seem to have some sort of clairvoyant.. ability?? that i have no control over. its just as if the universe wills that i know random things that will occur and they happen.

even my family is noticing that it isnt just me making shit up

[another-clive-blog]

Short extract of that one WIP I've been working on !

TW are mention of death/dead bodies, mention of blood and uh I genuinely don't have the word but like. Disturbing way of thinking

It's 1 am and I have a big test tomorrow so I'm just going to post the cancel fic tonight and hopefully I'll be back to my usual posts tomorrow ! Anon if you recognize your ask expect the full thing in like two days unless I triggered myself too much lol

[bluesidedown]

.